I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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