How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
