I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
