Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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