Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
