Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Is Oprah even human
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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