I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
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