Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
We're facebook friends in real life
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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