i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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