It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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