11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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