I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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