I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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