Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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