just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
