I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
