just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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