You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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