I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
