Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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