Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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