You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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