thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
