I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
