in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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