He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
