So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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