Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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