Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
being pregnant is like rehab
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
