I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize