youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
