It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize