im holly from the hills drunk
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
