The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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