Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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