And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
