dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
