I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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