I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
