She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
