dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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