i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
