im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I didn't shave. On purpose
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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