I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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