i just google imaged poop.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
