he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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