i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
