she was so not down for the gang bang
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize