okay pat passed out under dana's car
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
