super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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