dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
