yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
