Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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