Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We're too hungover to prance.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
