it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
