I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
