I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
